CUPCAKE SAGA II

WHY. WHY DOES LIFE HATE ME.

CUPCAKE SAGA I

STATUS: MY CUPCAKES ARE GOING TO EXPLODE YOU GUYS WHAT DO I DO

UPDATE: OH GOD THEY'RE STILL GROWING WHY

UPDATE: DEAR LORD HELP ME

IT GETS WORSE BEFORE IT GETS BETTER

Cleaning = the art of shoving one pile on your floor into another pile on your floor. It's an acquired skill that requires a great amount of focus and attention to detail, i.e. how to carefully stuff as many things as possible into as little space as possible. Today I kicked off Spring Break 2013 by dumping out the contents of one of my closets  and conjoining it with the already existing mess eating up my floor. 

Confession - if you siphon off the top layer of dust in my room, you can peel papers back sheet by sheet and find things dating from pre-3rd grade. Call me sentimental but I always develop this weird mentality at the end of every school year that every single worksheet/piece of homework/assignment will somehow become something that I'll definitelydefinitelydefinitely need one day and that the one thing I throw away will just happen to be the one thing that will save my life someday (i.e. be the million dollar question on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire - THERE'S A SOLID CHANCE OKAY). So every few days (since these days I pretty much spend my nights camping out on the couch and embracing my inner-hobo), I venture back into my bedroom and carve a little path through the forest of papers and lost pen caps and strewn cardigans and forage my way to whatever it is I need to grab, then emerge unharmed and unscatched back in the civilized world (re: my hallway).

Anywho, about twice a year, I do a wardrobe overhaul and get rid of any clothes that I can't fit into anymore or just don't really wear (okay so maybe I just keep it all and stuff it under my bathroom sink but still). Today though, I convinced myself that this time is going to be different. I spent a good two hours Googling/Youtubing closet organization tips and I'm proud to say that I only got to the weird part of Youtube in the last fifteen minutes. I was so hyped and mentally prepared and then I looked back at the monster of a pile sitting in my room and I was like, "Welp. TIME TO COLOR THE WALLS."

And so I did. I've actually been meaning to decorate my bedroom walls for a good two or three years now. I'm going to (eventually) put up Christmas lights and add more line art/wall art and stick on cutouts of Lord Lagerfeld and mah gurl Cara like the Tumblr wannabee I am. I can't claim credit for the pugs though. My soulmate4lyfe Jen had it saved on her phone and I sneakily sent it to myself because let's be honest guys - no one can resist dat face with dat hat. Also don't judge my goldfish (they're obviously goldfish what are you talking about).

LOOK AT THE NUBS THOUGH. Unfortunately my poor Sharpies didn't survive unscathed. I think I've gone through about 3 or 4 now but they all lived good lives and their sacrifices shall not have been in vain. I SHALL USE THEIR BRETHREN WELL.

What is my life.

Love,
Chloe

P.S. Oh. Wait. I probably should've told my mom first what I was going to do to my wall. Um... o___o

SNIPPETS OF SPRING

Spring is officially here and I can't waitwaitwait to dust out those high-waist shorts (that granted I've been wearing since winter but still) and crazy-layer patchworks of prints to my little heart's desire. :) Also, I've slightly fallen in love with YSL's S/S 2013 RTW collection (which I guess I should now be calling Saint Laurent Paris but old habits die hard); as much as I like to say that "pants are for quitters", wearing nothing but pencil skirts for a week helps you develop a healthy appreciation for power suits that somehow manage to look like the beautimous lovechild of skinny jeans and tapered trousers (think Hillary Clinton rainbow pantsuits but even better). The rock-glam-chic vibe! The chiffon! The sequins! Hedi Slimane is pretty much perfection.  

Also, I finally got around to taking some OOTD shots. My neighbors gave me the weirdest looks while I awkwardly lugged around my tripod and pretended to be taking really interesting pictures of the cement. I'll upload them tomorrow once I find some batteries to re-revive my dead camera. The poor thing gets abused so much by me.

Love, 

Chloe 

MY TWO BEST FRIENDS

 

Becoming a hippie cat lady to pursue the life of a feline vigilante has never been so appealing. #droppingoutofsocietytoliveinthewildernessasaunicorn

UNDER CONSTRUCTION

Currently working on revamping mah blog so if it looks wacky for the next few hours/days, that's why. :)

USSYP 2013 - PART 1: THE MOURNING AFTER

Me: Feels, stop, just stop.
My Feels: No.

Me: >:(

My Feels: Go sit in a cornfield.

Me: *proceeds to sob and capture tears in a cup and distill the water to make salt and applies the salt to an apple then remembers that fruit doesn't need to be salty then uses the rest of the salt to find the solubility-product-constant then drinks apple juice made from juicing the meat of the apple* What is my life. 

My Feels: XOXO, Gossip Girl

PACKING PACKING PACKING

[ to be updated :) ]

DEFINED BY A NUMBER

So tomorrow is the ACT exam and instead of cramstudyingfreakingout I've started stress baking. As in ohheymyfutureisrapidlyapproachingme but I'm going to go make a cake. I'm literally running out of shelves in my fridge. The struggle is real. 

I can actually feel my childhood dreams of being a rabbit lady resurfacing. It used to be cat lady until I realized that cats really aren't all that fond of me. Which is why I stick to cat .gifs instead. Anywho. 

I feel so anticlimactic about this whole collegefuturegrowingupadult thing right now. Possibly because  I already took the ACT for the first time back in September (October?) so I feel slightly better. Also possibly because I've been watching too many episodes of Suits and Adventure Time and have lost my touch on reality. 

So, um, SOME CHLOE TIPS FOR ACING THE ACT: (← CATCHY SLOGAN RIGHT THERE :'D)

1. Stay hydrated. But not so much that you have to constantly pee
2. Don't get worked up over weird patterns. Unless there's been like 8 A's in a row
3. Don't even think about using the phrase "in conclusion"
4. Try to write an essay against the prompt (ANARCHY)
5. Be nice to yourself. Give yourself that extra pancake or syrup or Fruit Loop in the morning — whatever floats your goat. Remember that the only number you can be defined by is 1 because #yolo. Just kidding. But srs guys. If all else fails, you're always welcome to join me and my future band of tribal rabbit lady hippies

Good luck tomorrow and may the odds ever be in your favor. (:

I think I'm going to go redo the ombré in my hair. totallynottryingtoavoidstressingwut
(also I still have to do that haul post al;kdsjfl)

Love,
Chloe

(^just realized I flubbed up "ever be" and "be ever" WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME)

THINGS TO DO BEFORE I DIE

Disclaimer: There's enough cheesiness here to probably make two cheese pizzas with cheese-stuffed crust. And still have enough cheese left to make a bag of Cheetos (THEY DO USE REAL CHEESE GOSH OKAY). Feel free to cringe as much as necessary.

BUCKET LIST

• Audition for a movie/tv series
• Be a bridesmaid
• Be a extra in a movie
• Become an inspiration
• Be genuinely corny
• Be happy with my body
• Be kissed in the rain
• Be maid of honor
• Build a blanket fort with someone I love
• Buy a homeless person a meal
• Change someone's life
• Cliff jump
• Complete a scrapbook
• Cover my bedroom walls in lights, pictures, & lyrics
• Dance in the rain
• Dance under the stars
• Dip dye my hair
• Drive down Route 66
• Feel beautiful
• Finish an entire eraser
• Fly in a helicopter
• Get a baby porcupine/pig
• Get a love letter
• Get in a taxi and yell, "Follow that car!"
• Get my license
• Get sponsored by a fashion thingy
• Get to my goal weight
  

HOW MUCH U MAD ON A SCALE OF 1 TO 46 TEXTS

Confession #1: Sometimes, on the rare occasion when I get mega pissed off (over probably something super petty), I dispel my irritation in the form of texts . . . lots of texts. You can think of it as going Hulk-mode where my equivalence of smashing cars is spamming the inboxes of my friends. 

For instance, last night, a certain thing (which I won't mention online because that would be childish and actually really unfair to the other involved parties/persons) got me really worked up. Long story short, let's just say that I absolutely cannot stand people who try to take credit for things without wanting to put in any actual work — but I digress (especially since I don't want this to be a one-sided tale, harharhar).

Anywho, to back things up a bit, I had gotten home at about 4:40pm after working at the Township Supervisor's office. After dinner and getting halfway through a K-drama episode, I fell asleep on the couch until about 2:00am when my mom returned from work. I went upstairs to my bedroom, decided to go online just for a quick moment, and that's when I stumbled across the whole conversefrontation (I was trying to combine those two in a really clever way lolol). And of course, like any other normal teenage girl, I reacted by bombarding people's phones with my ravings and Adventure Time/K-idol gifs (because nothing defines my emotions better than an animated donut man :D).

I think one person ended up getting maybe 11 and the other person got 40-ish. I feel like it's always super awkward reading my long rants because they eventually just turn into me typing out my thoughts and then responding to my own thoughts. 

. _________ .

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the world of Chloe Pan. 

Confession #2: In AP Physics yesterday, there was this kid with bubble wrap in the side-pocket of his backpack. Like the bad-ass I am, I reached out and popped two (#NOREGRETS #YOLO #HARDCORE — but actually if you ever somehow see this I'mreallysorry and Ihopehopewecanstillbefriends). I even took a picture as proof. BAM. 

I COLLECT QUOTES THE WAY PEOPLE COLLECT STAMPS

Because I'm weird and I haven't posted in a few days and I've officially become a Tumblr whore and I wish I could write prettyprettypretty things but I can't so this is my way of compensating and I love reading things that make me feel hip (do people even use that word anymore?) and yeah but mostly because I'm weird. :D

Also, while rummaging through the dark abyss that is the far corner of my bedroom closet, I stumbled across the Transcendentalism project that I did for Honors American Lit. last year. 

TUMBLING JUDGEMENT

So during one of the busiest times of my junior year, I made the questionable decision to finally do something that I've been meaning to do for the past two years: I have made a Tumblr account. :D

On the upside:

I now have a Tumblr!

On the downside:

I now have a Tumblr.

HOW TO MAKE DONUT CROWNIES

Happy Mardi Gras! 

In honor of (almost) National Pączki Day, Megan and I embarked upon a wondrous adventure yesterday to bake the world's best king's cake. But first, we had to go to Kroger because my house is pretty much absent of all of the basic baking necessities except for instant cake/brownie mix (which totally does count as a baking necessity. But I guess we kinda needed stuff like butter too since butter does not ever exist in the Pan household. [So many potential puns right there.])

Anywho, we got to the store and walked at least a dozen loops around because we are ohsodecisive. Of course, no shopping trip would be complete without free samples. (FREE SAMPLES!) I was so excited to take another food porn picture that I accidentally dropped my chicken sushi upside down into the shopping cart. 

'Twas a dark and sad moment. 

Fortunately, it still turned out okay. LOOK AT THAT FOOD SHININESS IN ALL OF ITS DELICIOUS GLORY. ↓ 

We also kept getting distracted by the giant teddy bears in the Valentine's Day aisle, 

and the super adorbs cards. I ended up buying a set of purrfect kitty sticker valentines. :'D As you can see below, I like to look as dignified and attractive as possible whenever I put pictures of myself onto the interwebz. ↓ 

We were in Kroger for over an hour and eventually spent $3 on rainbow cake mix and frosting. (That was after putting back the cinnamon, nutmeg, vanilla extract, butter, and other stuff that we originally selected but later decided was unnecessary since rainbow cake mix is the way to go. Plus it's rainbow. RAINBOW.)

ONTO LE BAKING 

LE PLAN:

• 1 rainbow king cake w/rainbow sprinkles and coconut pecan frosting 
• 6 brownie cupcakes
• 1 pan (tehe) of brownies 

The first two were for the Mardi Gras party in French class and the last one was for myself (#noshame). We would've make another cake but we only had one donut-shaped pan . . . Get it? We only had one pan. Because I'm a Pan and I was the only Pan home (technically) and . . . :'D . . . okay I'll stop. BACK TO THE BAKING. 

CARTWHEELS IN YOUR HONOR

Some inspo pics from Tumblr & the ever-amazing Tavi and Zoe. 

Probably going to be spending the rest of tomorrow (er, today, I guess, since it's already Sunday o__o') devouring all the Fall '13 RTW shows from New York Fashion Week. Pshhomeworkwhat'sthat?  

Also, I finally figured out how to add that "read more" link at the bottom of posts so that the front page ones aren't so darn long. I FEEL SO PROUD. :'D 

HARDCORE SATURDAY NIGHT PARTYING

An excerpt of a Saturday night from the Life of Chloe Pan:

1. Watched the latest episode of Suits. Inwardly aww'ed at the *mini-spoiler alert* heartbroken look that Donna had on her face when she thought that Harvey told her she looked beautiful when the compliment was actually directed towards Jessica. (Did that explanation make sense?)

2. Tried to make bubble tea.

3. Failed and just ate the chewy squishy things instead.

4. Started looking over the business accounting books that her wonderful, wonderful mother checked out from the library for her. *

* Explanation: Part of my Monday research project for the township supervisor has to do with tax increment financing/public subsidization  — stuff that I am entirely knowledgeable about pshwhatyouaretalkingabout. Hence, I decided to be very productive.

As you can see below, it was some pretty hardcore stuff. 

Eventually, I felt bad about disturbing the neighbors with all of my ruckus so I decided to go to Paris instead.

As you can tell, I really like to live on edge. I even spice it up with rainbow sticky notes and jelly bean-scented highlighters. #yolo

 

;D Oh, and I finally decided to share one of these posts on Facebook. I managed to keep it up for a full thirty minutes before deleting the post because I chickened out. But then I decided that anyone who knows me knows how weird I am anyways. So. Yeah. WOOOOOO.

(Anyone who actually knows me and is reading this please don't blackmail me with any of my awkward things I write/post like ten years from now okay thanks love you. :'DDD)

SWEAT, SWEAT, AND THE TEARS OF MY ENEMIES

^ The best way to answer the question: "What qualities and skills do you have that will contribute to this position?"

Apparently it works because YOU ARE LOOKING AT THE NEW MICHIGAN EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR OF THE SVP! :DDDD & Depending on how things go, I might fly back to DC at the end of March (after USSYP) for the National American Youth Summit.

;LSKDFJAS;LKDJFLSKJDFD
Brb crying.
 
There's actually another summit being hosted by Microsoft towards the end of February but the age minimum is technically 18. But. You know. The registration doesn't actually ask for your age . . . Ahemcoughcough. YOU HAVE SEEN NOTHING.

"I hope you find what you're looking for."

Decided to not be a hermit this morning and watched Cars with my little brother.

Manly tears were shed. 

I also rediscovered my weird fascination with Route 66 and, as per usual, had to Wikipedia it up in the middle of the movie.

I guess there's just something incredibly nostalgic and lonely about that place.
  
It's not your typical brightcitylights-type of scene.   
It's not your conventional beauty. 

But it's enough.

HAPPYHAPPY NEWS

So about 3 months ago, I applied to this program called the United States Senate Youth Program. I clammed myself up in my room and worked on my application for hours like a maniac. After pouring my soul into the thing, I wanted to cry because I thought that it was just so mediocre. 

I mailed it in.
November came and went.
December rolled around. 

Only two students are accepted from each state and the other delegate from Michigan had already been notified, so by that point, I fully expected to not get in. Therefore, you can imagine how absolutely shocked I was when, just before New Year's Eve, I got a call from a lady in Virginia telling me that I had gotten in and would receive the $5000 scholarship. Again, I wanted to cry. I couldn't stop blubbering "thank you," which were about the only coherent words I could form at that point. I was an absolute mess and literally couldn't stop smiling/awkwardly-trying-to-not-tear-up long enough to utter a sentence. :)

Afterwords, I was added to the Facebook group for all the kids who got accepted into the 2013 program and ohmyholycow I swear they're some of the most fabulous people that I've ever met. Seriously. 

My travel packet arrived yesterday and it finally started to settle in that holy shit I'm actually going to this.

Also, YAY FOR SNOW DAY! I thought I was going to have to sacrifice another child name to the snow gods ("Baking" this time, since I already promised "Frying" as the name of my seventh son).

There's nothing better than looking outside to see that it's finally snowing. :D
The blurry flecks are actually drifts of snow coming downdowndown.

GUISE I FEEL LIKE MIKE ROSS

Had my first day of my internship at the township supervisor's office today and LAKJD;FLKJSDF.

I'M SO EXCITED.
SO. 
EXCITED.
No joke.

You know you're going to have a good time when the lady you're working for shows you her stash of candy and says, "There's only one rule in this office — and that is: if you want a piece of candy, you have to take at least two."

I think I'm in love.

I also got this packet to read over for my first official work day on Monday that's all about urban development and demographic shifts and whatnot AND got a free pen. Woah.

NOODLES & DOODLES

After I drew this in 6th hour yesterday, I had a serious revelation: if you stick an udder, head, and nubs onto the Earth, it looks like a cow. (*FUTURE BINDER COVER IDEA RIGHT HERE.*) Also, you can't have a farm without a geeraffe. (http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m9v3x6AmOO1qk9e6go1_400.gif)

Coffee, noodles, calculator, and my extraordinarily poopy notes. OTL 

(Piko is most definitely spelled with a "k".) 

I went on Career Cruising on Monday for the first time in maybe two years. Ahhh, I remember taking the career assessment thingy back during freshman year and having so many mixed feelings about my results — it made me want to laugh and cry at the same time. Still not sure how I feel about it now.

The wonderful things that the interwebz has to offer at 3 in the morning.

A NEW PAGE

Ahhh, that warm feeling of a fresh-start and a brand new beginning. :)

Welcome to the fourth fifth incarnation (Because I have a badbad habit of not keeping up with these things - FOR SHAME.) of this journalofsorts of mine that I shall hence dub LE CHRONICLES OF CHLOE! If you happen to be reading this, then I just want to let you know that you are a wonderful, wonderful person. WARNING: this is most likely going to end up being a weird amalgamation of awkward photos, corny pick-up lines, beautiful cat/baby porcupine pictures, random doodles, and the ramblings of a teenager with an unfortunate tendency to make mistakes and fall into awkward situations.

:D

So, I guess, a bit about me: My name is Chloe Pan (the first) and I am sixteen and a junior in high school. I like wearing old leather loafers. I would be lost without G2 pens. I use emoticons — a lot. Sarah Kay is one of my ultimate girl crushes and I hope to one day be able to express myself with words the way she can; until then, I'm going to continue to use an (unfortunate) amount of emoticons to spell out my feelings. :D

I love rainy days and watching movies/listening to music/reading books. I use a lot of really cheesy expressions. I'm ashamed of how much I procrastinate and have an irrational fear of time. I have started 20+ K-dramas and I have finished 2. coughcommitmentissuescough I have a serious passion for fashion and internally cringed while typing that rhyme. I use .gifs whenever the opportunity arises. I hate texting because I always have either toomuch or toolittle to say. Sometimes, I makeup words that aren't real and then use them so often that I forget that they aren't real. I laugh at the stupidest things. I wish I had a cool accent. I ramble. A lot.

I want to be a better person.
I want to grow up to become someone that I can be proud of being.
I want to change the world and I'm terrified of saying that out loud — because there are so many things I want to do with my life and I don't know if I can actually do them.
I want to learn to love myself. (in the least narcissistic way possible)

MILKSHAKES.  
Woah. O__O That ended up being a lot longer than what I had originally intended. Oh wellll. Anywho, a physics WebAssign beckons to me. But before I go, a promise that I have to make to myself:

I PROMISE, FOR BETTER, FOR WORSE, FOR RICHER, FOR POORER, IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH, UNTIL HOMEWORK DO US PART, TO CHERISH THIS BLOGOURNAL AS IF IT WERE MY FIRST-BORN CHILD. I DO.

Sincerely, 
Chloe :)