IT GETS WORSE BEFORE IT GETS BETTER

Cleaning = the art of shoving one pile on your floor into another pile on your floor. It's an acquired skill that requires a great amount of focus and attention to detail, i.e. how to carefully stuff as many things as possible into as little space as possible. Today I kicked off Spring Break 2013 by dumping out the contents of one of my closets  and conjoining it with the already existing mess eating up my floor. 

Confession - if you siphon off the top layer of dust in my room, you can peel papers back sheet by sheet and find things dating from pre-3rd grade. Call me sentimental but I always develop this weird mentality at the end of every school year that every single worksheet/piece of homework/assignment will somehow become something that I'll definitelydefinitelydefinitely need one day and that the one thing I throw away will just happen to be the one thing that will save my life someday (i.e. be the million dollar question on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire - THERE'S A SOLID CHANCE OKAY). So every few days (since these days I pretty much spend my nights camping out on the couch and embracing my inner-hobo), I venture back into my bedroom and carve a little path through the forest of papers and lost pen caps and strewn cardigans and forage my way to whatever it is I need to grab, then emerge unharmed and unscatched back in the civilized world (re: my hallway).

Anywho, about twice a year, I do a wardrobe overhaul and get rid of any clothes that I can't fit into anymore or just don't really wear (okay so maybe I just keep it all and stuff it under my bathroom sink but still). Today though, I convinced myself that this time is going to be different. I spent a good two hours Googling/Youtubing closet organization tips and I'm proud to say that I only got to the weird part of Youtube in the last fifteen minutes. I was so hyped and mentally prepared and then I looked back at the monster of a pile sitting in my room and I was like, "Welp. TIME TO COLOR THE WALLS."

And so I did. I've actually been meaning to decorate my bedroom walls for a good two or three years now. I'm going to (eventually) put up Christmas lights and add more line art/wall art and stick on cutouts of Lord Lagerfeld and mah gurl Cara like the Tumblr wannabee I am. I can't claim credit for the pugs though. My soulmate4lyfe Jen had it saved on her phone and I sneakily sent it to myself because let's be honest guys - no one can resist dat face with dat hat. Also don't judge my goldfish (they're obviously goldfish what are you talking about).

LOOK AT THE NUBS THOUGH. Unfortunately my poor Sharpies didn't survive unscathed. I think I've gone through about 3 or 4 now but they all lived good lives and their sacrifices shall not have been in vain. I SHALL USE THEIR BRETHREN WELL.

What is my life.

Love,
Chloe

P.S. Oh. Wait. I probably should've told my mom first what I was going to do to my wall. Um... o___o

USSYP 2013 - PART 1: THE MOURNING AFTER

Me: Feels, stop, just stop.
My Feels: No.

Me: >:(

My Feels: Go sit in a cornfield.

Me: *proceeds to sob and capture tears in a cup and distill the water to make salt and applies the salt to an apple then remembers that fruit doesn't need to be salty then uses the rest of the salt to find the solubility-product-constant then drinks apple juice made from juicing the meat of the apple* What is my life. 

My Feels: XOXO, Gossip Girl

THINGS TO DO BEFORE I DIE

Disclaimer: There's enough cheesiness here to probably make two cheese pizzas with cheese-stuffed crust. And still have enough cheese left to make a bag of Cheetos (THEY DO USE REAL CHEESE GOSH OKAY). Feel free to cringe as much as necessary.

BUCKET LIST

• Audition for a movie/tv series
• Be a bridesmaid
• Be a extra in a movie
• Become an inspiration
• Be genuinely corny
• Be happy with my body
• Be kissed in the rain
• Be maid of honor
• Build a blanket fort with someone I love
• Buy a homeless person a meal
• Change someone's life
• Cliff jump
• Complete a scrapbook
• Cover my bedroom walls in lights, pictures, & lyrics
• Dance in the rain
• Dance under the stars
• Dip dye my hair
• Drive down Route 66
• Feel beautiful
• Finish an entire eraser
• Fly in a helicopter
• Get a baby porcupine/pig
• Get a love letter
• Get in a taxi and yell, "Follow that car!"
• Get my license
• Get sponsored by a fashion thingy
• Get to my goal weight
  

HOW MUCH U MAD ON A SCALE OF 1 TO 46 TEXTS

Confession #1: Sometimes, on the rare occasion when I get mega pissed off (over probably something super petty), I dispel my irritation in the form of texts . . . lots of texts. You can think of it as going Hulk-mode where my equivalence of smashing cars is spamming the inboxes of my friends. 

For instance, last night, a certain thing (which I won't mention online because that would be childish and actually really unfair to the other involved parties/persons) got me really worked up. Long story short, let's just say that I absolutely cannot stand people who try to take credit for things without wanting to put in any actual work — but I digress (especially since I don't want this to be a one-sided tale, harharhar).

Anywho, to back things up a bit, I had gotten home at about 4:40pm after working at the Township Supervisor's office. After dinner and getting halfway through a K-drama episode, I fell asleep on the couch until about 2:00am when my mom returned from work. I went upstairs to my bedroom, decided to go online just for a quick moment, and that's when I stumbled across the whole conversefrontation (I was trying to combine those two in a really clever way lolol). And of course, like any other normal teenage girl, I reacted by bombarding people's phones with my ravings and Adventure Time/K-idol gifs (because nothing defines my emotions better than an animated donut man :D).

I think one person ended up getting maybe 11 and the other person got 40-ish. I feel like it's always super awkward reading my long rants because they eventually just turn into me typing out my thoughts and then responding to my own thoughts. 

. _________ .

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the world of Chloe Pan. 

Confession #2: In AP Physics yesterday, there was this kid with bubble wrap in the side-pocket of his backpack. Like the bad-ass I am, I reached out and popped two (#NOREGRETS #YOLO #HARDCORE — but actually if you ever somehow see this I'mreallysorry and Ihopehopewecanstillbefriends). I even took a picture as proof. BAM. 

A NEW PAGE

Ahhh, that warm feeling of a fresh-start and a brand new beginning. :)

Welcome to the fourth fifth incarnation (Because I have a badbad habit of not keeping up with these things - FOR SHAME.) of this journalofsorts of mine that I shall hence dub LE CHRONICLES OF CHLOE! If you happen to be reading this, then I just want to let you know that you are a wonderful, wonderful person. WARNING: this is most likely going to end up being a weird amalgamation of awkward photos, corny pick-up lines, beautiful cat/baby porcupine pictures, random doodles, and the ramblings of a teenager with an unfortunate tendency to make mistakes and fall into awkward situations.

:D

So, I guess, a bit about me: My name is Chloe Pan (the first) and I am sixteen and a junior in high school. I like wearing old leather loafers. I would be lost without G2 pens. I use emoticons — a lot. Sarah Kay is one of my ultimate girl crushes and I hope to one day be able to express myself with words the way she can; until then, I'm going to continue to use an (unfortunate) amount of emoticons to spell out my feelings. :D

I love rainy days and watching movies/listening to music/reading books. I use a lot of really cheesy expressions. I'm ashamed of how much I procrastinate and have an irrational fear of time. I have started 20+ K-dramas and I have finished 2. coughcommitmentissuescough I have a serious passion for fashion and internally cringed while typing that rhyme. I use .gifs whenever the opportunity arises. I hate texting because I always have either toomuch or toolittle to say. Sometimes, I makeup words that aren't real and then use them so often that I forget that they aren't real. I laugh at the stupidest things. I wish I had a cool accent. I ramble. A lot.

I want to be a better person.
I want to grow up to become someone that I can be proud of being.
I want to change the world and I'm terrified of saying that out loud — because there are so many things I want to do with my life and I don't know if I can actually do them.
I want to learn to love myself. (in the least narcissistic way possible)

MILKSHAKES.  
Woah. O__O That ended up being a lot longer than what I had originally intended. Oh wellll. Anywho, a physics WebAssign beckons to me. But before I go, a promise that I have to make to myself:

I PROMISE, FOR BETTER, FOR WORSE, FOR RICHER, FOR POORER, IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH, UNTIL HOMEWORK DO US PART, TO CHERISH THIS BLOGOURNAL AS IF IT WERE MY FIRST-BORN CHILD. I DO.

Sincerely, 
Chloe :)